That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
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id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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