Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
