im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
