i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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