Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
