There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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