the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have post one night stand depression
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