They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
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She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
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I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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