the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like death gave me a hand job
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
