So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
