Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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