I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
accomplished twins. life is a go
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
