i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
