Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
