Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
