My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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