D3 body, D1 cock
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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