The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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