i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
