Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
