you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need a beard to bite.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
