All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
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I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
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I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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