He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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