he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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