I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize