your thong is hanging out like whoa
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She bit a glass in half.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
