i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
