How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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