I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
