i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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