im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
