Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
