just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
