He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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