I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Vodka?
Forever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
