I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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