I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
