I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How does one acquire holy water?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
