I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
