Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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