I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
