He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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