Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
