I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
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she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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