oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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