I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just found puke in my bra..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
