C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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