Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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