Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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