Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
