so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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