I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
