Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
