Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
