it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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