ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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