And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
