You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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