ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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