no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
