what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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