New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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