Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I smell like Dick and happiness
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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