Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
