I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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