remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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