I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
