Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my sisters under your porch take her home
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I need moral support for this bender
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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