I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
